here at frito lay, we’re going to kill you. we’re committed to fucking killing you. we’re absolutely dedicated to actually murdering you. like. for real. we will make a limited edition chip flavor of you. and no one will buy it because no one loved you enough to save you from being turned into a flavor of chips.
and your flavor will get discontinued because no one will love you still.
Not my meme but figured I’d share for those about to ride out the storm
Explanation: The vast majority of homeowners insurance plans do not cover flood damage. You need separate flood insurance. Yes. I think it’s stupid too.
It is actually way better for 100 addicts to get their fix on pain pills than a single person in pain go without. I call this the “Torture is bad” principle. You should be able to get the good stuff forever after a single doctor’s visit. If you’re worried about addicts fund rehab centers and needle exchanges instead of torturing people.
Among other things if you can’t use the legit market you turn to the black market anyway.
if you’re worried about addiction, build a society where people get their basic needs met, including pain management.
Up late, thinking about the girl who broke my heart, and her partner who she sent to do the honours.
After convincing myself I was in the wrong, I apologized to them both two weeks ago, only to talk with another woman last week and hear an identical story to mine.
Turns out they just Do This. They find a disposable woman and flatter her. Then they discard her once she confesses feelings.
I apologized because, among other names, I called them unicorn hunters. Turns out I was spot on. I can’t believe they ever got an apology out of me.
at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, “hm, this doesn’t look thick enough. maybe i’ll let it go for another 10 minutes.” this is the devil speaking. it’s only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you
This is the story of how I once made concord grape rock candy
i recently let some peach preserves simmer for twenty minutes longer than recommended and ended up with a jar full of homemade peach gummy. it’s extremely delicious and i’m good at everything and regret nothing. but also yeah it’s not remotely a jelly or jam consistency.
